


Flying Together

by silvermoongirl10



Series: Flying [5]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Brother-Brother Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie is facing going back to work following the family vacation and Vinny’s death. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s not doing well. The break seems to have done nothing but destroy his self-confidence. Enter Danny. He’s determined not to let his little brother fall by the wayside. Not when he knows Jamie loves his job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Together

**Author's Note:**

> This series hasn't been updated in just over a year and that was mainly down to lack of ideas. For this one-shot I have based it around the series 3 finale because me and my mum re-watched it recently and I suddenly had an idea for this series. I hope you enjoy this as much as the other one-shots in this series.

Jamie stood in his apartment silently staring at his front door. His hands shook and he gulped. Today was his first day back after the family vacation. He'd only been off work for two weeks and suddenly any confidence he had regained after the whole Bitterman Houses crisis was completely gone. Not even knowing that he was still riding with Renzulli helped.

His eyes flickered up to the clock and he saw that he had to leave now otherwise he'd be late. So he took a deep breath and marched up to his front door and left. Telling himself that everything would be fine. It was a day shift and wasn't a Friday. Despite what used to be comforting words they no longer held any comfort. It was the middle of the day and a Sunday when Vinny died. Anything could happen at any time.

Soon enough he was stood in the locker room putting on his uniform. Thankful that the pitying looks had stopped being directed at him a month after Vinny's death. His eyes flickered over to Vinny's locker. He could easily picture Vinny leaning against it, with that easy grin of his. His heart clenched knowing that he'd never see that grin again. The last time he'd seen it was when Vinny was bleeding out in front of him and trying to comfort him. Vinny was dying and he spent his last breaths comforting Jamie. And Jamie couldn't even save him.

"Oi Reagan. Ya coming or what?" Jamie turned and saw Renzulli standing in the doorway staring at him.

"I'm coming Sarge," he mumbled. He slammed his locker shut and followed Renzulli out to their squad car. It came as a relief when Renzulli immediately walked to the driver's side. Since he'd partnered Vinny, he had done most of the driving.

" _Hey I gotta ask man," commented Vinny between sips of his coffee. "Why are you always so eager to drive?"_

_Jamie smirked, "I spent two years with Renzulli as my TO and partner. He never let me drive once."_

_Vinny nodded his head in understanding. "I can see that." He then gestured widely with one arm, "Then by all means drive to your heart's content, man. Allows me to enjoy my coffee breaks while you ferry us around this fine city."_

" _Thanks," grinned Jamie._

" _You're very welcome," teased Vinny. "But if you ever want a break, let me know. I'll take over for twenty minutes."_

Jamie shook away the memory and climbed into the squad car. Renzulli was talking but he couldn't follow what was being said. He felt sick. He was sat in Vinny's seat. Not for the first time he cursed himself for taking that extra tour. Logically he knew Vinny would have taken the tour even if he hadn't. He couldn't help but think though, would Vinny have survived if he had been partnered with someone else that day?

* * *

His first shift back hadn't gone badly, but it hadn't gone well. Jamie spent the whole time trying to stop his hands from shaking. He had spent the day feeling like he was a fresh-faced rookie. Only this was worse. He knew how easily, and _quickly_ , things could go wrong. He'd spent the day putting himself in front of Renzulli on every call. There was no way that he was going to face the family of another partner he couldn't save.

Renzulli had stopped at a sandwich bar for lunch, but Jamie had asked, almost begged and pleaded, him to go someplace else. Vinny loved that sandwich bar. He couldn't go there, he just couldn't.

The rest of the week didn't go any better. Wednesday he had the graveyard shift, he'd spent the entire night jumping at shadows. Ready to push Renzulli to the ground in case there was trouble.

That Sunday dinner, he sat quietly, not saying a word. Staring at his family in confusion. They were all happy, laughing, joking and commenting on their weeks. It was as if they had forgotten all about the Bitterman Houses and Vinny.

He pushed his food around his plate, but didn't eat much. He felt sick. Like he had all week. He was drawn back into the conversation when he heard his dad mention that tomorrow, the mayor was going to make his first appearance since his shooting. Jamie knew despite his efforts his face showed a bitter grimace. The mayor. While he was sorry for the man, he couldn't help but think that everyone remembered what happened to the mayor more than what had happened to Vinny. Yet the mayor was living and breathing, and Vinny was not. In his opinion he felt that Vinny and Vinny's family should be the ones on the front of everyone's minds. Not a man who still lived, and who would use what happened to fuel his next campaign. Vinny shouldn't be used like that. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right.

It wasn't long after that he made his excuses, he thought he said something about an early shift, and left. His family were happy and enjoying a rare Sunday with no arguments. He felt he was only bringing the mood down, so he left.

* * *

The next few weeks continued much in the same way. He pretty much didn't sleep and hardly ate, he always felt sick and his hands always shook. He just didn't understand why Vinny's death was hitting him like this now. He'd been fine on the job straight after, angry yes, but unconfident in himself? No.

He came to the conclusion that after Vinny died, he'd been immediately partnered up with Renzulli and continued on with his job. The family vacation gave him two weeks of nothing to do but think. Over that break he relived every second of that day and with those thoughts came doubts in his ability to do the job.

Renzulli gave him more and more worried looks, but Jamie was functioning on the job. He wasn't doing anything wrong that merited intervention by superiors.

"You alright kid?" Renzulli would ask.

Jamie would give him a half (fake) smile and say, "Yeah."

" _Hey you okay?" asked Vinny, it was the day after Sean's accident and still Jamie's nephew was unconscious in hospital._

" _Yeah," sighed Jamie. He wasn't great but better than Danny at any rate._

_Vinny clapped him on the shoulder. "You listen to me okay?" At Jamie's nod he continued. "You just need to talk, or vent at someone or even go for a silent beer. I'm there okay?"_

" _Thanks Vinny," smiled Jamie. His first genuine smile since he'd got the call from his dad._

" _That's what partners and friends are for," responded Vinny seriously._

All Jamie wanted to do was talk to Vinny, he'd grown used to his partner and liked to go out for drinks with him. But Vinny wasn't here now. Jamie just had to muddle through, but that was the thing. He wasn't. He was drowning and he didn't know how to reach out for help or who to ask.

It was lucky for him that Danny was already on the case.

* * *

Over the past four Sunday dinners Danny had been watching his younger brother. He could see that Jamie was struggling. He wanted to do something but wasn't sure what Jamie would let him do. So he just started with texting Jamie every day, letting his brother know that he was there for him.

It all came to a head however, on the fifth Sunday dinner. He and Jamie were stood in the living room, when a car pulling off backfired. Jamie jumped and had crouched down on the floor with his back pressed against the wall. His face was pale and his hands were noticeably shaking.

"Jamie?!" he rushed to his brother's side, and rested his hands on Jamie's shoulders. However, Jamie wriggled out of Danny's grasp and bolted for the front door.

Danny caught up to Jamie as his brother was just getting into his car. So Danny hastily got into the passenger seat and stared steadily back at Jamie.

"Danny. Please get out, let me go home," pleaded Jamie.

"I've let you do that the past month kid. Not anymore." Responded Danny shaking his head. He looked closer at his brother and saw the circles under his eyes and saw that Jamie's hands were still shaking. "What's going on with you kid?"

Jamie's face crumpled as he hugged himself. "I can't be a cop anymore Danny."

Danny sat in dumbfounded silence for a moment, "Jamie-"

"I _can't_. What if I fail Renzulli like Vinny? I can't go through that again Danny. _I just can't_." Choked Jamie, staring straight ahead, unable to meet his brother's gaze.

"You didn't fail him Jamie," Danny fiercely told his brother. "In no way was what you did, failing him."

"He _died_ Danny, and I didn't!" bit out Jamie.

"That's not on you!" countered Danny.

"I was his _partner_!" snapped Jamie, his eyes boring into Danny's.

Danny smiled sadly, "You did the best you could. Ultimately he didn't die alone, you gave him that comfort." Jamie just gritted his teeth and shook his head. "Right," added Danny. "We're gonna take this one step at a time, kid. You love this job you know you do, and if it's just a lack of self-confidence making you think you can't do it. Then we'll talk. I'll text and call you every day. Also if you want me to I'll come over to yours every night. You don't have to do this alone Jamie."

* * *

It was three weeks later when Jamie and Renzulli were called to a robbery in progress. They were stood side by side with guns drawn pointed at the teenager.

"Police don't move!"

"Put your gun down!"

Within ten minutes, no shots were fired and the kid was safely cuffed in the back of their squad car. It was as Jamie was getting into the passenger seat when he realized his hands weren't shaking. He stared at his hands in shock. Since his first shift back he had grown accustomed to his hands shaking all the time. They were the last thing to be sorted. His texts, calls and late night talks with Danny had helped him sleep more, eat more and took away the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. So he sat on the way back to the twelfth with a smile on his face.

There he found Danny waiting for him, to go for drinks after shift. Seeing his brother Jamie held up his hands. Danny's face broke out into a huge grin seeing Jamie's hands not shaking. As Jamie passed Danny, he felt Danny clapped his shoulder.

"I told ya it'd all work out kid."

And this time. Jamie didn't care about Danny's 'I told you so'. This time he was glad Danny was right.

**The End.**


End file.
